


Womb Broom

by ddani



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anderlock, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Fic, M/M, Pregnant John, Sexual Humor, Shanderson, crackfic, possibly vouyerism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2271891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddani/pseuds/ddani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crack-fic in which Anderson and Sherlock hook up in front of an audience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Womb Broom

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, not sorry.

There was fire in Anderson’s groin. An actual fire because he was into some pretty kinky shit. Sherlock grabbed a bucket of water, which had been beside them, and dumped it on his pants.

“Are you thoroughly turned on, yet?” Sherlock asked, unconcerned.

“Oh god, yes.” Anderson moaned, his dick erect.

“I am your God, this is correct.” Sherlock shimmied out of his own pants, “Kneel to your God.”

Anderson did as he was told. Mini Sherlock was flacid at this point, but soon Sherlock was gripping his fleshy womb broom and jacking it off in Anderson’s face.

“Touch yourself while I come into your face, peasant.” Sherlock ordered, his voice gruff.

Anderson touched his crispy baby arm and winced at the pain. Soon though, he was stroking it.

Meanwhile, everyone was in the room that had been gathered in Anderson’s apartment. Now, they were all busy staring, confused, watching the train wreck.

Someone asked, “Should we leave?”

Someone else replied, “Hell no. This is finally getting good.”

“Popcorn, popcorn! Get your popcorn here!” Someone said, throwing small bags of popcorn at people’s faces.

Soon, the smell of buttery kernels and what-the-fuckery filled the room. Lots of crunching noises (from the audience) as well.

That’s when John entered the room, waddling angry about.

He had put on weight from the pregnancy, “SHERLOCK!”

Sherlock turning, still jacking off, “My yogurt guN IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!”

The audience put on their yellow ponchos and umbrella hats.

His yogurt spewed all over everyone in the first row of the audience as well as an angry, pregnant John.

“God damnit Sherlock!” John yelled, wiping cum from his eyes. He stomped towards the naked, shivering Sherlock. John grabbed him by the balls, dragging him out the room, “You’re grounded for a week.”

Sherlock called to Anderson, “Call me!”

He cried, “I will, Sherlock senpai!” Anderson came alone soon after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, etc. welcome. :D
> 
> Alternative version:   
> Once upon a tym there wuz a coople--Sherlock and Anderson. One was a beard, and the other was a ego. 
> 
> The Ego sed to the Bard ‘HON HON HON’   
> and the Bard said ‘HON HON HON’
> 
> and den a hedgeHOOG waffled in nd sad 
> 
> can i jawhn?
> 
> and the world essploedd
> 
> teh end


End file.
